That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
