What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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