Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
