Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
