Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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