WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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