Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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