I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
