theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
COCAINE IS GR8
I think people are normalizing furries
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
