I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
