Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
