We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
