Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it because I queefed?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize