I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
