lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
