I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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