friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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