so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize