btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
