did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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