Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
