My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
