she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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