you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
