ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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