rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
