His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
