Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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