im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
