Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
