This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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