Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
