All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
jump out the window naked night went bad
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
