Cold hands, warm shart.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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