Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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