dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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