would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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