He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
