the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
