Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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