im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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