i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize