Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
