Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
