the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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