Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
