Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
