i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize