I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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