You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
