I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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