Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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