so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That reminds me...we need to get swords
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
