sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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