when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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