If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
