she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize