i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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