Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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