The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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