um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
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I need you to use more vowels.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
