Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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