I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
